Posted by Kate Phizackerley on Thursday, July 15, 2010

No matter how old one is, first dates are a nervous time. Inevitably so I think. How could it be otherwise unless one is apathetic about the outcome, narcissistically over-confident or take the other person for granted? So I'm nervous.

Will he like me? Who is so self-secure they don't wonder that?

But we all have our quite personal concerns. Some people may worry whether they will be able to keep the conversation going; I worry whether I'll remember to let him get a few words in. I worry that he won't wish to see me again; I'm equally concerned that I'm so busy next week that fitting in a second date will be tricky and I wouldn't wish him to think I wasn't keen - assuming by then I still am keen.

It will, of course, be OK. It should be fun. I enjoy talking with new people, especially intelligent ones. And, if there are reasons for me to be nervous, there are reasons for him to be nervous as well if he's the right guy for me.

I'm also open-minded about outcomes. An exclusive relationship would be fun; another friend for the occasional dinner would be good too. One mistake I made when younger was not dating until very seriously interested. At that point transitioning a platonic friendship into something more is fraught and rarely successful. I'm sure it's much better to see someone and from the start be open to any outcome. That way there's no need to push at a relationship, just let it go where feels natural

What's his name? Now that would be telling, and I won't. I'll talk about myself here but it would be terribly rude to talk about someone else.

2 comments:

Jess said...

Good luck :)

Stuart Tyler said...

Just be yourself.

You have nothing to loose. I wish you all the best, Kate,

Stuart

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